Pushes Me Away
by Zammie4eva
Summary: songfic. implied suicide. implied GaaNaru. really depressing.


Pushing Me Away

Songfic. Implied suicide. Implied GaaNaru. Really depressing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Linkin Park

_I've lied to you  
>The same way that I always do<em>

"I'm fine."

You look at me sceptically.

"You don't look fine." You say.

"It's a one-time thing, I'm fine." I insist.

I'm lying. You must know that. You must see that. I'm lying.

"Alright. If you're sure," you say instead.

Don't say that. Don't leave me, fully believing my lie, don't go, stay, stay and help me, tell me I'm lying.

Tell I'm lying and I'll deny it, and then you can help me. Don't go, don't leave.

I need help.

_This is the last smile  
>That I'll fake for the sake of being with you <em>

"Watch where you're going kid!"

I force a grin. "Hehehe, sorry mister." I smile.

"Get out of here you little monster," the man snaps.

I keep going, grinning the whole way through town.

I'm leaving today, and I won't be coming back.

_Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down  
>The sacrifice of hiding in a lie <em>

"Everyone has a breaking point," you say to me calmly.

"I know." I say.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"I'm fine." I tell you.

You frown. "You always say that."

"It's always true. I'm fine Gaara," I say grinning.

Tell me I'm wrong, tell me you know I'm lying.

I hurt inside, surely you must know that, you've been there too after all…

Don't you know I'm living in a lie? Can't you tell I'm not really smiling?

Why can't you tell?

_Everything has to end, you'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind  
>The sacrifice is never knowing<br>_

This kunai is very sharp, not even Kyuubi can help me should I use it on myself.

Not that you would know I think these thoughts, I say nothing, but you should be able to see it.

Why can't you see it?

I like the colour red, it reminds me of your hair.

There it is now, running down my arm. It's very pretty, I'd like you to see it, you'd think it's pretty too.

Cut more, more red. Pretty red.

I wonder how much red I have, shall we find out?

_Why I never walked away  
>Why I played myself this way<br>Now I see your testing me pushes me away_

I get it now. You're testing me.

You're seeing how much I can take until I break.

Very cruel. I'll show just how much I can take.

There's the red again, but not too much, I can fail your test.

That's why you pretend to know nothing, you want to see how much I can handle.

Well I'll tell you something, I can handle a lot more than you ever could.

Watch me. Be proud of how much I can take.

See me, and be proud that I passed your test.

Here comes the red, are you ready?

_I've tried like you  
>To do everything you wanted to<em>

This village. I tried. I tried my hardest to be good.

I wanted to be a good boy, I tried to do what they wanted.

But nothing was good enough.

Now I'm trying to be bad, to get your attention.

Notice me, see how much I'm hurting.

Kill me. Take away the pain.

No! I must not fail this test.

Red again. Not too much or I'll surely fail.

Notice the red, red like your hair, notice it and find me, find me and bring me home.

I don't know where that is anymore, but I want to go there.

Will you not take me?

_This is the last time  
>I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you<em>

"This is all your fault Naruto you idiot! What the heck were you doing going around the left? You nearly got us killed!" Sakura yells.

I grin sheepishly and apologise. I take the blame, even though it wasn't me who went left, it was Sasuke.

When I leave, I run into you, pushing down to the ground.

"Oh sorry about that Gaara, my fault." I say.

You get up. "No it wasn't you fault Naruto, it was mine I wasn't looking." You say.

I smile, I'd like to believe you. Say it again.

"No it's was my fault. Everything is right?" I smile and walk away.

You don't call for me, you don't say it again.

Didn't you say it wasn't my fault? You were lying?

I think you were. I better go make some more red flow as punishment.

_We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds  
>The sacrifice of hiding in a lie<em>

Times up. I've failed the test.

Too much red. Too much red.

"Naruto!" you cry.

You must be angry that I failed your test.

I'm sorry, but I had no time left.

Wait where are you taking me?

But Gaara I hate hospitals, all they do is make you better again.

I won't ever be better again. Not now.

It's dark now. Gaara I can't see anything, what's happening?

The red's gone, where did it go? Come back, don't take my pretty red from me!

I hear beeping, and voices, what is it Gaara? What is that?

Whatever it is it won't help, I've already failed the test.

_We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds  
>The sacrifice is never knowing<em>

The red's back Gaara, don't you see how pretty it is?

Why do you look so scared? I thought this was what you wanted

You should proud of how much I could take. Why aren't you happy?

I can't hear you Gaara, what are you saying?

You're fading, why are you fading? I can't see, it's all black again.

Gaara help me! I can't see anything!

What is that? A light? It's not red, should I go to it?

It's pretty too, maybe more pretty that red.

I think I'll go, I don't like the dark very much.

But if go, will you come too? No? Oh.

I'll go anyway. Bye-bye Gaara, I'll miss you.

Pushes me away…

**Fin. **

**I might do another Songfic as a sequel to this one but I'm not sure. Review and tell me if you think I should do a sequel, if I do I promise it'll be happier than this one. **


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